What Brings Lasting Change?

When I was in my early 20's, from time to time I would run out of money.(lol)  I was living with my dad at the time in a small town in Northern Montana called Havre, and I was working part time cleaning a bar at night.  Needless to say, I wasn't making much money.  And so, it became a habit of mine when I needed money, I would go into my dad's bedroom and steal money from his change basket( a basket where he would collect the change left over from the day). 

Well, one day my dad called me into the living room, and he questioned me if I was taking money from his change.  And I replied, "Yes."  He promptly chastised me by telling me that money was not mine for the taking.  He said it was his money and I did not have the right to take it.  And then I walked away with a bad attitude.  I thought to myself, "He's got all this money and I have nothing, and he's upset that I take a little money from his change basket?"  And so my bad attitude towards my dad continued, even though he was giving me a free place to live, and paid for most of our food.  Looking back, I can see that I was soooo ungrateful.  Yes, I stopped stealing from him, but my heart had grown hard against him.  This is the kind of repentance that comes from judgment.  Yes, we may stop the bad things we are doing, but it's only because we got caught.  It does nothing to improve our relationship with God.  If anything, it makes it worse.

Finally, when Christmas time came, my attitude was still on the negative side.  My parents were divorced and my idea of having a great life had turned into a vapor.  I never knew who to spend Christmas with, because whoever I was with, mom or dad, I always felt guilty that I wasn't with the other one.  But this particular year, I had figured to spend Christmas day with one and Christmas eve with the other.  Now don't ask me which, because I just can't remember all the details.  I'm really not a detail person.lol.  I do remember, though, I was with Dad, as he asked me if I wanted my Christmas present.  I said, "Yes".  I had no idea what he got me.  He went into his room and brought out all his change he was saving, over a hundred dollars worth, and he gave it to me, as if to say, "Corey, I love you more than this money."

Something happened to my heart when he did that.  I went to my bedroom and wept before the LORD.  My dad won my heart that night, through his kindness to me.  No, I didn't deserve it, and I can't really explain what happened.  But the change was real, and I never wanted to steal from my dad after that happened.  My heart had changed.

While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.  God showed us kindness through the sacrifice of His Son on the cross.  God was telling us that we were important to Him.  We weren't just little ants to be tortured and stepped upon, or used as pawns in some evil little game.  No!!  Just the opposite.  His desire has always been to win our hearts, not our mere obedience.  It's the kindness of God that leads to repentance--true repentance that lasts for a lifetime.

It was after Peter had made the big catch of fish that he fell at Jesus' feet in repentance.  It was after the jailer found out that none of the prisoners had escaped, that he and his whole household were saved.  Remember, Jesus preached the Good News!!!  God loves us!!!!!  We are important to Him!!!

Blessings my friends!!

Corey